Traditionally, marriage is supposed to bind two people together for the rest of their lives “until death do you part”. It is important to spend that quality time together, but like your favorite dessert, you cannot only live on that.
Have you ever noticed that in most if not all healthy marriages each partner also seems to have his and her own lives outside of the marriage, co-existing with the marriage.
While it is of utmost importance for two people to stick together through thick and thin, isn’t it also of vital importance to let each other continue to live and grow as an individual, like they each did before they met one another?
It is important to put spaces in between the times spent together. For instance, he might enjoy playing baseball. Say he was on the team playing twice a week before he met you or took it up after you were already together. Woulds’t it make sense to allow him to continue playing with the guys? Not to say, the wife couldn’t come to the actual games to root for him and cheer him on, but he needs to “air himself out” and be with “the boys” too.
And what if she always had a standing lunch date with her best friend every other Saturday. It is extremely important to the relationship that she be permitted to continue this so she can grow on her own forever.
A good marriage usually has two people in it who both have other positive activities going on in their own lives, on the outside. It eases feelings of being crowded, smothered, and overwhelmed by one individual. Each needs to be left alone at times to function as a full human being. Two happy people make for a happy and healthy relationship together and as a couple to others!
Always stand by each other, but also make the effort to stand alone too. Do not cast shadows on one another. Be supportive of each others hobbies and interests. If he likes sports, get him tickets to his favorite game with his buddies. If she likes art, buy her some special supplies to work with, and a break so she can create her art.
It is nice to keep some parts of one’s self just to one’s own self. This way, each partner brings to the table of marriage a whole being. In addition, by having other things going on in your life, it helps bring interesting stimuli into the relationship that both can share. Two whole individuals increases the chances at one awfully healthy relationship!
Author Donna Spangler
http://www.theprincessformula.com/www.Relationshipadvice.TV